Warning - this is long and detailed and probably TMI. It was helpful to write it out for me and it will be good to have a record of it. The good with the bad have to be recorded.
Two weeks after Roberta passed away and three days after her funeral I had a miscarriage from an unplanned pregnancy that I hadn’t told anyone about. I figured it out around the time Roberta started to decline in August. I was mad and in shock and didn’t know how to tell anyone especially Glen because we were suppose to be done having kids. I was hoping it wasn’t and that all the signs I knew so well from 5 other times were something else and that my body that has worked the same way for over twenty years was just giving me a break or I was just getting older or something. So I didn’t tell anyone or do anything but try to ignore it and deal with life outside my body and a dying loved one.
So on November 5 after young women’s in excellence was over and I was visiting with the new Relief society president and I felt a great rushing, I knew it was not good and not normal. And when there is as a puddle of blood on my chair and blood all the way down my legs to my shoes a few other people noticed and ask if I was okay. I had Glen get paper towel and try to help clean things up and a few other people helped too. Then we excused ourselves because they promised to bring the older girls home and we went home. The Emergency Department might have been a wiser move but home we went. I didn’t want to shock the little kids so I went to the upstairs bathroom to try and clean myself up and figure out what was happening. There was a lot of blood. I did what I could to clean up and got the items I needed to try and take care of what you as happening. The bleeding let up some. I was able to make it out of the bathroom to the front room to a kitchen chair but then more came and I decided I couldn’t put off a hospital visit any more. Janene who had stayed with the little girls while we went to young women’s had gone home and the girls had come home from the church while I was in the bathroom. We decided to just have the older girls take care of the kids and Glen took me to the hospital. It was around 9pm so we had to go to the emergency department because the instacare has closed, not that I wouldn’t have been sent over there anyways.
We got there and checked in and I had bled through the pad and my pants and a bath towel in places that I had wrapped around me. I apologized to the receptionist and warned her she might have to wipe of the chair I was sitting on after I left. It was okay though. And I’ll just say thank heavens for leather seats in Glen’s truck and a metal chair at the church and vinyl chairs in the ED waiting room because I left marks on most of them.
I was taken back pretty quickly to get my weight and vitals and all that and then to a room. They had me put a gown on the top half of me but left my pants and everything else on bottom. They ask all the questions of when my last period was and if WE knew we were pregnant. We said no because we didn’t only I did and hadn’t told anyone. As an aside it had gone on long enough and life had settled down that I was going to go see my OBGYN to figure out what was happening in the next week until this happened.
They did blood work and started an IV and all the normal stuff. While they were waiting for the labs I could tell I was still bleeding and it was just getting all over my pants and everything so I ask if I could just take them off and have something else. They didn’t really have the right stuff but made due and also saw how much blood I was loosing. By time I got all situated they had the results that I was pregnant and was miscarrying. They called in the on call OBGYN and while they were waiting for him I seemed to be doing okay so everyone left to check on other patients.
With in a few minutes of the staff leaving my blood pressure took a nose dive 84/44 and I wasn’t doing so well, light headed and a little nauseous. Suddenly there were lots of people in my room and I had had one or two more IVs. The OBGYN got there and they decided they had to do an emergency D and C right there. I hadn’t had any pain medicine and I was okay for awhile but that’s really not a comfortable thing to have done so they gave me a shot of fentanyl which was nice. They also gave me a blood transfusion of 2 pints. It was that much mostly because that is what they had ordered and they had to use it or throw it out. It couldn’t be returned.
Once I got more fluids back in me I stabilized and started feeling better. The doctor finished his work and felt like it went as well as it could have in for an unideal place for the procedure. They decided to keep me over night to monitor me. They only had room on the 3rd floor in the mom and baby wing which wasn’t were the doctor wanted to send me but everything else was full. So I stayed till early afternoon on the 6th.
For having a scary hard thing happen like that I was so blessed and watched out for.
Glen stayed with me till I was all situated. then he went home to check on the kids but came back to stay with me. Then he got up and went home to get the kids to school.
Fortunately that day was an ACT prep day for sophomores so it was an easy day for Glen to miss at work and his coworkers were so good and supportive. One of them took Lilly home after the test for us and took her out to lunch on the way.
I was suppose to be feeding the elementary teachers dinner that day for parent teacher conferences. My mom and sister stepped up and took care of it all with my neighbor that Is the other hospitality person.
Not many people at the church saw what happened, thank heavens, but the few who did all texted to check in on me. One of my nurses turned out to be a girl a went to high school with and knew a little bit from 4-H events and the social worker I talked to at the hospital had lived in our stake and was a coach for one of the young women’s teams when I was over stake sports.
My mom and sister brought dinner that night and Janene dropped off soup so it was there when we got home. My cousin brought dinner another night. Just lots of little things happened then and are still happening now to help me feel loved and supported.
Being a month removed from it, I think it is all sinking in. It’s harder than I thought. For being so mad and upset and not wanting the pregnancy really in the first place, I find myself very remorseful and wishing I would have done things differently even if it wouldn’t have changed the outcome. Hind sight is 20/20 though and my mantra for life the last 4 months has been -It’s all going to work out. So I keep telling myself that.
Two weeks after Roberta passed away and three days after her funeral I had a miscarriage from an unplanned pregnancy that I hadn’t told anyone about. I figured it out around the time Roberta started to decline in August. I was mad and in shock and didn’t know how to tell anyone especially Glen because we were suppose to be done having kids. I was hoping it wasn’t and that all the signs I knew so well from 5 other times were something else and that my body that has worked the same way for over twenty years was just giving me a break or I was just getting older or something. So I didn’t tell anyone or do anything but try to ignore it and deal with life outside my body and a dying loved one.
So on November 5 after young women’s in excellence was over and I was visiting with the new Relief society president and I felt a great rushing, I knew it was not good and not normal. And when there is as a puddle of blood on my chair and blood all the way down my legs to my shoes a few other people noticed and ask if I was okay. I had Glen get paper towel and try to help clean things up and a few other people helped too. Then we excused ourselves because they promised to bring the older girls home and we went home. The Emergency Department might have been a wiser move but home we went. I didn’t want to shock the little kids so I went to the upstairs bathroom to try and clean myself up and figure out what was happening. There was a lot of blood. I did what I could to clean up and got the items I needed to try and take care of what you as happening. The bleeding let up some. I was able to make it out of the bathroom to the front room to a kitchen chair but then more came and I decided I couldn’t put off a hospital visit any more. Janene who had stayed with the little girls while we went to young women’s had gone home and the girls had come home from the church while I was in the bathroom. We decided to just have the older girls take care of the kids and Glen took me to the hospital. It was around 9pm so we had to go to the emergency department because the instacare has closed, not that I wouldn’t have been sent over there anyways.
We got there and checked in and I had bled through the pad and my pants and a bath towel in places that I had wrapped around me. I apologized to the receptionist and warned her she might have to wipe of the chair I was sitting on after I left. It was okay though. And I’ll just say thank heavens for leather seats in Glen’s truck and a metal chair at the church and vinyl chairs in the ED waiting room because I left marks on most of them.
I was taken back pretty quickly to get my weight and vitals and all that and then to a room. They had me put a gown on the top half of me but left my pants and everything else on bottom. They ask all the questions of when my last period was and if WE knew we were pregnant. We said no because we didn’t only I did and hadn’t told anyone. As an aside it had gone on long enough and life had settled down that I was going to go see my OBGYN to figure out what was happening in the next week until this happened.
They did blood work and started an IV and all the normal stuff. While they were waiting for the labs I could tell I was still bleeding and it was just getting all over my pants and everything so I ask if I could just take them off and have something else. They didn’t really have the right stuff but made due and also saw how much blood I was loosing. By time I got all situated they had the results that I was pregnant and was miscarrying. They called in the on call OBGYN and while they were waiting for him I seemed to be doing okay so everyone left to check on other patients.
With in a few minutes of the staff leaving my blood pressure took a nose dive 84/44 and I wasn’t doing so well, light headed and a little nauseous. Suddenly there were lots of people in my room and I had had one or two more IVs. The OBGYN got there and they decided they had to do an emergency D and C right there. I hadn’t had any pain medicine and I was okay for awhile but that’s really not a comfortable thing to have done so they gave me a shot of fentanyl which was nice. They also gave me a blood transfusion of 2 pints. It was that much mostly because that is what they had ordered and they had to use it or throw it out. It couldn’t be returned.
Once I got more fluids back in me I stabilized and started feeling better. The doctor finished his work and felt like it went as well as it could have in for an unideal place for the procedure. They decided to keep me over night to monitor me. They only had room on the 3rd floor in the mom and baby wing which wasn’t were the doctor wanted to send me but everything else was full. So I stayed till early afternoon on the 6th.
For having a scary hard thing happen like that I was so blessed and watched out for.
Glen stayed with me till I was all situated. then he went home to check on the kids but came back to stay with me. Then he got up and went home to get the kids to school.
Fortunately that day was an ACT prep day for sophomores so it was an easy day for Glen to miss at work and his coworkers were so good and supportive. One of them took Lilly home after the test for us and took her out to lunch on the way.
I was suppose to be feeding the elementary teachers dinner that day for parent teacher conferences. My mom and sister stepped up and took care of it all with my neighbor that Is the other hospitality person.
Not many people at the church saw what happened, thank heavens, but the few who did all texted to check in on me. One of my nurses turned out to be a girl a went to high school with and knew a little bit from 4-H events and the social worker I talked to at the hospital had lived in our stake and was a coach for one of the young women’s teams when I was over stake sports.
My mom and sister brought dinner that night and Janene dropped off soup so it was there when we got home. My cousin brought dinner another night. Just lots of little things happened then and are still happening now to help me feel loved and supported.
Being a month removed from it, I think it is all sinking in. It’s harder than I thought. For being so mad and upset and not wanting the pregnancy really in the first place, I find myself very remorseful and wishing I would have done things differently even if it wouldn’t have changed the outcome. Hind sight is 20/20 though and my mantra for life the last 4 months has been -It’s all going to work out. So I keep telling myself that.
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