I got a compliment today and was told I should write a book, on "How to be a Wonderful Spouse." Which the person giving the compliment doesn't know the great lack of confidence I have in my ability to use the English language and use it properly besides my writing abiliy or lack there of(that's another topic all together though). I tried to graciously accept and decline it at the same time. Which didn't work well. I was appreciative of the compliment but felt unworthy of it. I have this reputation at Glen's work, which comes from a very biased and lopsided view at me. I thanked the one giving the compliment but said," You haven't seen our house."
As I have been thinking about this I have wondered if I am really doing enough for my family and those closest to me? People see what I do but I don't know if it really is enough. Because although Glen my get his lunch brought to him every day, or almost everyday,the house is usually a mess when he comes home. Where I may have some ability in one area I am completely lacking in another. It is a little distressing. Just ask him. He is definitely earning his sainthood for being married to me.
Another thing I have realized is I am not the person I thought I was or think I am. This is mostly in regards to my family- mainly in-laws, both those I married in to and those that married my siblings. I can be kind to complete strangers but struggle to consistently be kind, uplifting and non critical of these people that I'll be spending forever with. In fact I sometimes wonder if I am not just poision in the relationship.
Oh, what work I have to do, but some how, some way, and most likely very slowly I can fix this problem I have brought upon myself. I think the first step my be to just bite my tongue and curb my thoughts.
As I have been thinking about this I have wondered if I am really doing enough for my family and those closest to me? People see what I do but I don't know if it really is enough. Because although Glen my get his lunch brought to him every day, or almost everyday,the house is usually a mess when he comes home. Where I may have some ability in one area I am completely lacking in another. It is a little distressing. Just ask him. He is definitely earning his sainthood for being married to me.
Another thing I have realized is I am not the person I thought I was or think I am. This is mostly in regards to my family- mainly in-laws, both those I married in to and those that married my siblings. I can be kind to complete strangers but struggle to consistently be kind, uplifting and non critical of these people that I'll be spending forever with. In fact I sometimes wonder if I am not just poision in the relationship.
Oh, what work I have to do, but some how, some way, and most likely very slowly I can fix this problem I have brought upon myself. I think the first step my be to just bite my tongue and curb my thoughts.
Comments
Of course you wonder whether what you do is enough? You're in no real danger of losing your job because you work for FREE. I've felt the same way -- like shouting into the wind and wondering whether anyone heard. I decided that the amount I do is probably not "enough" but if I can do it happily, it will have to do.
Keep your chin up. I think you're wonderful, even if your house gets messy.
Love ya,
Paige