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An ornery day

Today I have been ornery. It's my own fault. I let little things get to me and mess with my head. Thinking about it now, the kids are in bed and things are quite, I feel bad. The kids were good, they are good. Sundays just get to me sometimes, and then when things don't go like I have worked them out in my head it frustrates me. I let that stay with me today. I still enjoyed church. Our Stake President came to our meeting today and shared his testimony. It was fabulous. I know that isn't an uncommon thing, but is sort of is for our stake. He has been a very sick man the last two years. For him to be alive is a miracle in it's self.

Any ways the thing that got me thinking that I should be happy and in a better mood was talking to my sister-in-law at dinner. The kids were playing and Christmas came up and she ask what a seven year old wanted for Christmas these days.  I only knew one thing that mine really wants, but the bigger thing is that my brother and sister-in-law have a seven year old, Dylan.(Or they could I don't know how age and heaven and all that works). They have an angle baby who they get to raise later. 

This year I am missing him, like I never have. I can tell you why too. Lucy. Not my Lucy but a high school friend's Lucy. You see some how in this world of blog stalking and hopping and linking I came across the blog of Charles, who I went to school with, and his little family. I would randomly look at it but in the last year and a half I have really kept tabs on it.  They have been through a lot, and been kind enough to share it. They recently lost one of their twin daughters, Lucy.  It has hit me hard. This beautiful little girl, who I didn't know, has had such a tremendous impact on me for good.

Now you may think it odd that, that could happen with out knowing her but it has. So many things are so close. Her dad and I are the same age. Daryl and Lucy and her twin are months apart in age. I have a Lucy. She died due to a heart defect. My nephew died of a heart defect. Both had to spend lots of time, Dylan's whole life, in the hospital. All these similarities have tugged at my heart. Not to mention, watching all that happened before Lucy died made me relive Dylan's life. I am not happy with how I handled and treated my brother and his wife in those days, weeks and months of mourning. It reminded me that I need to ask for forgiveness. I need to be more loving and patient and not judge or criticize. Hard things to humble yourself to do.

So I think I better be happy and not ornery. Things worked out today. I am blessed beyond measure. I have my children, and even if they had to leave me, I will have them in the eternities. This  I know. Families can be together forever. It takes everyone doing their part. I would be lost with out that knowledge. I need to do my part better, because I want to see Dylan and if I can Lucy. I want to thank her for helping me.


I'll be happy.

Comments

Hugs, Mom said…
Oh Kayci! NOW I have found the true meaning of Christmas. My season will be so much more spiritual because of this blog. Thanks! Hugs, Aunt Patty
HW said…
You didn't spend long in ornery. I am impressed how quickly you found perspective. What a tender story.
Paige said…
You have a good soul.

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