Here is how Tuesday February 25,2014 went. I had gone to bed very late the night before. I was up trying to catch up on house work and watching a movie. Ruth woke up crying and I was too tired and lazy to try and calm her so I just brought her to bed and nursed her back to sleep. Not long after that Glen woke (very early) because the dog kept barking. He went out to see what was going on and get her to stop. About 5 a.m. came back in and woke me up. Neve's stomach was all bloated and hard. He wondered what we should do. I wasn't sure and Ruth was still nursing so I had him bring me my phone and I goggled "bloated dog". Everything I read said get to your vet as soon as possible, life threatening things going on.
Now our dog is over ten years old. We knew she wasn't going to live forever but this sudden illness made us make some quick choices. The other thing was my dad was at work. He would have put her down for us with out a problem; he's not heartless just practical and comes from a farming background.
Our vet's office was closed and Glen needed to get to work so I was left to get some one to watch the kids and go to the emergency vet clinic. Glen offered his parents since they are up early but they didn't answer. I called who I always call when I am in trouble or need advice or help, my mom. I woke her up but she willingly came down to be with the kids, who were all still sleeping.
The 24 hour clinic our vet office recommended was across the valley so that is where I headed at about 6:30 am. Neve was uncomfortable but doing okay when we started the car ride but she quickly declined. I had a little trouble finding the clinic; that seems to be what happens when I am going someplace new. By the time I got there and parked she was crashing and not doing well at all. I debated even going in but decided I had come this far I might as well.
I went in and told the receptionist I had come with my bloated dog but she was pretty close to dead so I wasn't sure what to do. She was shocked and came out to the van with me. She noticed she was still breathing and grabbed her and took her in to the clinic. they had been completely dead, just twirling their thumbs and were suddenly on code red. I had to okay x-rays so they could see what was going on and fill out paper work so they could work on her. They preformed a procedure that got all the trapped air out of her. It helped but she hadn't perked up like the hoped she would.
They wanted to know if they could put in a catheter to pull blood to see what was going on and possibly intubate her in case they needed to do surgery. It was here that I drew the line. I couldn't put her through all that and I couldn't spend all that money on her. I decided to have her put to sleep. It was horribly hard and gut wrenching.
They brought her in to a room where I could be with her and placed her on the exam table. They had me sign paper work and pay for it. I got to be with her for a few minutes before the Doctor came in. She was really almost gone. So close that when the vet came in to give that pink syringe of death she wasn't sure she needed too. She did though and before it was all in her, our Neve was gone.
All in an instant she slipped from mortality to immortality. In a blink. In a breath. It was and is that close.
I don't like making decisions on mortality. It feels too God like. I am not ready for that responsibility. I know I have taken on other decisions of mortality, but they have been of life giving and not taking away.
Just after 8 o'clock I left the clinic with the body of our dog to bring home to bury in an illegal grave in our backyard.
I took the long way home. I drove the side streets in no rush and in no state of mind to hurry. Death is such an interesting thing. The separation of body and soul. The one being so dependent on the other.
When I got home the girls were already at school. I let them stay there. I moved Neve to the garage, thanked my mom and texted Glen to see where would be a good spot to have her rest in our Richins pet memorial estates backyard.
Daryl kept wanting her to wake up, for us to fix her. I told him we couldn't fix her, that only Jesus could and it wasn't time for that yet.
It was such a weird thing to go through that day. We had appointments and responsibilities we had to take care of. Nothing stopped. No one knew unless I told them and time just went on.
The worst part was telling the girls once they got home from school. Lucy was shocked and sad but ask if we could get a puppy now. Lilly burst in to tears and cried and cried for hours. She was such a mess. I had her help me dig the grave to try and help her.
Now our dog is over ten years old. We knew she wasn't going to live forever but this sudden illness made us make some quick choices. The other thing was my dad was at work. He would have put her down for us with out a problem; he's not heartless just practical and comes from a farming background.
Our vet's office was closed and Glen needed to get to work so I was left to get some one to watch the kids and go to the emergency vet clinic. Glen offered his parents since they are up early but they didn't answer. I called who I always call when I am in trouble or need advice or help, my mom. I woke her up but she willingly came down to be with the kids, who were all still sleeping.
The 24 hour clinic our vet office recommended was across the valley so that is where I headed at about 6:30 am. Neve was uncomfortable but doing okay when we started the car ride but she quickly declined. I had a little trouble finding the clinic; that seems to be what happens when I am going someplace new. By the time I got there and parked she was crashing and not doing well at all. I debated even going in but decided I had come this far I might as well.
I went in and told the receptionist I had come with my bloated dog but she was pretty close to dead so I wasn't sure what to do. She was shocked and came out to the van with me. She noticed she was still breathing and grabbed her and took her in to the clinic. they had been completely dead, just twirling their thumbs and were suddenly on code red. I had to okay x-rays so they could see what was going on and fill out paper work so they could work on her. They preformed a procedure that got all the trapped air out of her. It helped but she hadn't perked up like the hoped she would.
They wanted to know if they could put in a catheter to pull blood to see what was going on and possibly intubate her in case they needed to do surgery. It was here that I drew the line. I couldn't put her through all that and I couldn't spend all that money on her. I decided to have her put to sleep. It was horribly hard and gut wrenching.
They brought her in to a room where I could be with her and placed her on the exam table. They had me sign paper work and pay for it. I got to be with her for a few minutes before the Doctor came in. She was really almost gone. So close that when the vet came in to give that pink syringe of death she wasn't sure she needed too. She did though and before it was all in her, our Neve was gone.
All in an instant she slipped from mortality to immortality. In a blink. In a breath. It was and is that close.
I don't like making decisions on mortality. It feels too God like. I am not ready for that responsibility. I know I have taken on other decisions of mortality, but they have been of life giving and not taking away.
Just after 8 o'clock I left the clinic with the body of our dog to bring home to bury in an illegal grave in our backyard.
I took the long way home. I drove the side streets in no rush and in no state of mind to hurry. Death is such an interesting thing. The separation of body and soul. The one being so dependent on the other.
When I got home the girls were already at school. I let them stay there. I moved Neve to the garage, thanked my mom and texted Glen to see where would be a good spot to have her rest in our Richins pet memorial estates backyard.
Daryl kept wanting her to wake up, for us to fix her. I told him we couldn't fix her, that only Jesus could and it wasn't time for that yet.
It was such a weird thing to go through that day. We had appointments and responsibilities we had to take care of. Nothing stopped. No one knew unless I told them and time just went on.
The worst part was telling the girls once they got home from school. Lucy was shocked and sad but ask if we could get a puppy now. Lilly burst in to tears and cried and cried for hours. She was such a mess. I had her help me dig the grave to try and help her.
Comments
Not too long after we had our dog "Brother" put to sleep, Heather had her wisdom teeth pulled. They said she'd be "out" for the count while I went to get her prescriptions. I watched her relax and close her eyes just as I was leaving. I cried all the way to the pharmacy and back. I knew I was crying for Brother, but still....
As I walked back into the dentist's office, I was greeted by a smiling Heather. We hugged and she was sweet to not mention my red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks.
I also liked your words about how little distance there is between mortality and immortality. That part was especially beautiful.
I love you.
Thanks for telling me what it was like. You and I had similar thoughts on the death of pets.